Today was important. M would be having dinner. At my home. With my parents. That was on my mind all day at work. Again, the "what ifs" were raging. I know... enough already.
M joined me for lunch before leaving to spend an afternoon exploring Little India. He returned late afternoon and spent the rest of the time with me in the office, occasionally meeting some of my friends there, reading some magazines and just relaxing. I suppose after the crazy schedules of work and 16 hour days, this was bliss. He watched us gather for a company group photo and patiently waited till it was finished.
In the taxi ride back home, I sat within his arms as usual, talking about the day while making plans for the short holiday that weekend. We had decided to go to Bangkok and Pattaya for 4 days starting Friday night, and not returning till Tuesday late. A perfect getaway for two people intent on getting to know the other and connecting. We were both excited and looking forward to this little 'honeymoon'.
Mom and Dad welcomed him warmly and M gave them hugs and thanks. The nerves slowly dropped away. Dad poured some wine while they chatted with M. He seemed to have hit it off with them - conversation was easy and flowing, and it continued over dinner. We stayed for nearly 3 hours, having a very pleasant evening chatting over dinner and dessert, before heading off. They extended the invitation to him to stay at the house for the rest of the visit too. Exactly what I had been hoping for.
I found out much later that M had approached Dad in the kitchen and asked him permission to 'date' me. Oh goodness...! He said he would do it but I didn't think he actually would do it, you know? I realise that M is an old soul with values to match. He wants to do things right, taking the time and making the effort to ensure that all is as it should be for me, for us with my family.
I am getting more and more comfortable with him, his loving, very physical nature. Of course there is more to come, to discover for him and me. So far, it's like a dream, one that has me pinching myself to see if he would poof away. But no! M is right here, a very strong presence with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
Saturday 24 July 2010
Day Two: I've met the love of my life
The next couple of days till we left for Thailand passed in near blur emotions. On Tuesday, I packed an overnight bag and left for work. M would be meeting me at my office before lunch. I had had text messages from friends querying about him and us, curiosity and concern coming through on my phone.
He found me easily enough. I couldn't believe that he was here - sitting in my office library, patiently waiting for me to wrap up some things before we took off for lunch. Japanese was on the menu that day - I introduced him to Meidi-Ya and its cheap food court. Then...I truly forgot how the rest of the afternoon went; just that it went by fast. And at the day's end, we went back to his hotel.
After dumping my bag in the new room they gave him (complete with circular bed and organza drapes, glassed-in bathroom and huge tub - cheesy yes, but much more comfortable!) we went exploring Joo Chiat and its restaurants. This is a foodie's heaven and M was interested in everything including the karaoke bars and hostesses. He was curious enough to pop into one to see. Finally hungry, we tried a restaurant at the corner of Joo Chiat and Koon Seng Road - Tai Shek Hei House of Bamboo Noodles. Its owner John See suggested some dishes, all delicious, hearty servings of Chinese cuisine.
We shared everything, a habit that now marks how we eat when we travel. Again, we couldn't resist holding hands across the table before the food arrived, later leaving delicious morsels on the other's plate or feeding the other directly. M was enjoying the moment; I was too although still a bit reserved, thinking of the night to come, my mind and heart doing flip-flops whenever he looked at me, or touched me.
We walked some more after that before heading back to his hotel, both deciding that we rather just chill out there then at a pub. We watched some soccer from the World Cup as we got cleaned up for bed. He isn't shy at all, and immediately put me at ease about myself, my body and my rapidly growing feelings for him.
It was an amazing introduction for two people from opposite sides of the planet who found each other online and were slowly falling in love.
He found me easily enough. I couldn't believe that he was here - sitting in my office library, patiently waiting for me to wrap up some things before we took off for lunch. Japanese was on the menu that day - I introduced him to Meidi-Ya and its cheap food court. Then...I truly forgot how the rest of the afternoon went; just that it went by fast. And at the day's end, we went back to his hotel.
After dumping my bag in the new room they gave him (complete with circular bed and organza drapes, glassed-in bathroom and huge tub - cheesy yes, but much more comfortable!) we went exploring Joo Chiat and its restaurants. This is a foodie's heaven and M was interested in everything including the karaoke bars and hostesses. He was curious enough to pop into one to see. Finally hungry, we tried a restaurant at the corner of Joo Chiat and Koon Seng Road - Tai Shek Hei House of Bamboo Noodles. Its owner John See suggested some dishes, all delicious, hearty servings of Chinese cuisine.
We shared everything, a habit that now marks how we eat when we travel. Again, we couldn't resist holding hands across the table before the food arrived, later leaving delicious morsels on the other's plate or feeding the other directly. M was enjoying the moment; I was too although still a bit reserved, thinking of the night to come, my mind and heart doing flip-flops whenever he looked at me, or touched me.
We walked some more after that before heading back to his hotel, both deciding that we rather just chill out there then at a pub. We watched some soccer from the World Cup as we got cleaned up for bed. He isn't shy at all, and immediately put me at ease about myself, my body and my rapidly growing feelings for him.
It was an amazing introduction for two people from opposite sides of the planet who found each other online and were slowly falling in love.
Thursday 22 July 2010
Day One: I've met the love of my life
Nearly 4 months since my last post and so much has happened since. You know M that I met online? Well, online became real life when he finally flew into Singapore for a visit. A 3-week window had opened up at work and he quickly got himself booked on a flight to me at the end of June. He was going to be in town for 19 days! Only that was the weekend of my cousin's wedding and I was in Kuala Lumpur. So much for my romantic idea of meeting him at the airport! Instead we met on Monday evening, after I got back into town, the afternoon after he arrived in the early morning.
I rushed through the house like a whirlwind to shower and change clothes at least twice before grabbing a taxi to meet him at his hotel. I texted him to say I was on my way as I tried calm the butterflies in my stomach and breathe. Finally! After 8 months of emails, phone calls and IMs, M was really here. In Singapore. To see me. Be still my heart!
The taxi wasn't going fast enough but it gave me some time to think, to wonder. So much has changed since that promise I made to myself on my birthday last year. To seize life and love with both hands. And now, here was the result.
At the hotel, after they paged M in his room, I waited for the 'ding' of the elevator. Two false alarms. Where was he, thought impatient me. By now my heart was hammering wildly and the butterflies were threatening to escape. I was seriously considering making a dash for it but my feet were rooted, my heart thumping too erratically to even consider moving! This was the most reckless thing I've ever done! All kinds of stupid "what ifs" were running through my head. What if there was zero chemistry between us? What if he looked at me and went "ewwww"? What if he wasn't what he said he was? I was recalling those horror stories I read of online affairs that went horribly wrong. Of other's experiences that failed. For the longest time, I refused to even entertain the thought of "what if we fall in love", just in case... Yup, the Virgo in me was alive and in her element.
'Ding!'
And M rounded the corner. The minute our eyes met, my mind calmed, my racing heart slowed and I smiled. I fell...instantly. Eyes locked, he moved closer to gather me into his arms for a hug. Then he gently cupped my face and we kissed. Softly, gently, intently. Time paused, the world swirled around us. It wasn't the kiss of strangers rather that of two lovers reuniting after months apart. We stood close, arms around the other, our foreheads touching, eyes closed, savouring the moment of our first "hello".
When we looked up into each other's eyes, I was lost. His eyes held me just as his hands and arms did. I felt loved, cherished, safe. He really was the man of the emails and phone calls. M was real.
Conversation after that simply flowed. We had been talking incessantly for 8 months for goodness sake! We went back to his room to leave the box of cookies I brought for him. He kept my hand in his, glancing at me and smiling, guiding me through open doors. Before leaving his room, he pulled me in for another kiss, longer, lingering, deep. My heart was in my throat, a smile on my lips. I could have stood there all night kissing him. He was smiling as he parted, a twinkle in his eyes as if he could read my mind and my desires. We left, holding my hand in his, and went out for dinner.
I picked the East Coast Lagoon for his first official foray into Singapore (although the night he arrived, he bravely ventured into Geylang and its red light district). M pulled me in close to him in the cab, arm around my shoulder, hand on mine. This has since become our favourite way of sitting as we travelled around Singapore, by cab, my MRT and also in Thailand when we were on holiday. I sensed a little reserve in him, as I was also feeling the same - holding back a little, as bit by bit we slowly surrendered to the feelings that were building inside us. But sparks there were... and silly grins, and thumping hearts. He kept kissing me and I kept losing my train of thought. And we were laughing, giggling at how easy this was all flowing together, at how comfortable we were feeling in each other's company.
Later at dinner, after thoroughly scouting the place, we got a table near the beach, sat side by side to savour the few dishes he ventured to try. And talked and talked and talked and kissed some more. I love how he's not hesitant to let his feelings show. His firm yet gentle touches, his smiles as he looked at me followed by a sigh reflected my own. I love how he made me feel even as I tentatively reached out to touch, caress, hold and kiss him. I love the strength I felt under my hands, and the gentleness too. And I love that he wants me close, even as we were eating, his leg pressed up to mine, keeping me near.
After dinner we walked from the Lagoon to the East Coast Village, holding hands, chatting the whole way, pausing for a kiss here and there. It is so easy to be with him. We simply fit. Only I didn't realise then how much of a fit. The man I had fallen in love with online was here, within reach, and I was bubbling over with joy. The nerves were long gone. I was with my love, God was in his heaven and all was right with the world. Not wanting to do anything else that would distract us from each other, we caught a cab back to his hotel.
What followed was a gentle exploration of each other with much of our clothes on. Kissing is fast becoming a favourite past-time. We both held back that first night, content to just be with the other, being close. I stayed till 2am before my alarm went, reminding me of work the next day. I so wanted to stay and I know he did too but I felt that it was better to not go that far on our 'first date'.
M walked me out to catch a cab. A hug and kiss goodnight, a promise to stay with him the next night and I was on my way...feeling as if I had left my heart behind as we sped off.
I rushed through the house like a whirlwind to shower and change clothes at least twice before grabbing a taxi to meet him at his hotel. I texted him to say I was on my way as I tried calm the butterflies in my stomach and breathe. Finally! After 8 months of emails, phone calls and IMs, M was really here. In Singapore. To see me. Be still my heart!
The taxi wasn't going fast enough but it gave me some time to think, to wonder. So much has changed since that promise I made to myself on my birthday last year. To seize life and love with both hands. And now, here was the result.
At the hotel, after they paged M in his room, I waited for the 'ding' of the elevator. Two false alarms. Where was he, thought impatient me. By now my heart was hammering wildly and the butterflies were threatening to escape. I was seriously considering making a dash for it but my feet were rooted, my heart thumping too erratically to even consider moving! This was the most reckless thing I've ever done! All kinds of stupid "what ifs" were running through my head. What if there was zero chemistry between us? What if he looked at me and went "ewwww"? What if he wasn't what he said he was? I was recalling those horror stories I read of online affairs that went horribly wrong. Of other's experiences that failed. For the longest time, I refused to even entertain the thought of "what if we fall in love", just in case... Yup, the Virgo in me was alive and in her element.
'Ding!'
And M rounded the corner. The minute our eyes met, my mind calmed, my racing heart slowed and I smiled. I fell...instantly. Eyes locked, he moved closer to gather me into his arms for a hug. Then he gently cupped my face and we kissed. Softly, gently, intently. Time paused, the world swirled around us. It wasn't the kiss of strangers rather that of two lovers reuniting after months apart. We stood close, arms around the other, our foreheads touching, eyes closed, savouring the moment of our first "hello".
When we looked up into each other's eyes, I was lost. His eyes held me just as his hands and arms did. I felt loved, cherished, safe. He really was the man of the emails and phone calls. M was real.
Conversation after that simply flowed. We had been talking incessantly for 8 months for goodness sake! We went back to his room to leave the box of cookies I brought for him. He kept my hand in his, glancing at me and smiling, guiding me through open doors. Before leaving his room, he pulled me in for another kiss, longer, lingering, deep. My heart was in my throat, a smile on my lips. I could have stood there all night kissing him. He was smiling as he parted, a twinkle in his eyes as if he could read my mind and my desires. We left, holding my hand in his, and went out for dinner.
I picked the East Coast Lagoon for his first official foray into Singapore (although the night he arrived, he bravely ventured into Geylang and its red light district). M pulled me in close to him in the cab, arm around my shoulder, hand on mine. This has since become our favourite way of sitting as we travelled around Singapore, by cab, my MRT and also in Thailand when we were on holiday. I sensed a little reserve in him, as I was also feeling the same - holding back a little, as bit by bit we slowly surrendered to the feelings that were building inside us. But sparks there were... and silly grins, and thumping hearts. He kept kissing me and I kept losing my train of thought. And we were laughing, giggling at how easy this was all flowing together, at how comfortable we were feeling in each other's company.
Later at dinner, after thoroughly scouting the place, we got a table near the beach, sat side by side to savour the few dishes he ventured to try. And talked and talked and talked and kissed some more. I love how he's not hesitant to let his feelings show. His firm yet gentle touches, his smiles as he looked at me followed by a sigh reflected my own. I love how he made me feel even as I tentatively reached out to touch, caress, hold and kiss him. I love the strength I felt under my hands, and the gentleness too. And I love that he wants me close, even as we were eating, his leg pressed up to mine, keeping me near.
After dinner we walked from the Lagoon to the East Coast Village, holding hands, chatting the whole way, pausing for a kiss here and there. It is so easy to be with him. We simply fit. Only I didn't realise then how much of a fit. The man I had fallen in love with online was here, within reach, and I was bubbling over with joy. The nerves were long gone. I was with my love, God was in his heaven and all was right with the world. Not wanting to do anything else that would distract us from each other, we caught a cab back to his hotel.
What followed was a gentle exploration of each other with much of our clothes on. Kissing is fast becoming a favourite past-time. We both held back that first night, content to just be with the other, being close. I stayed till 2am before my alarm went, reminding me of work the next day. I so wanted to stay and I know he did too but I felt that it was better to not go that far on our 'first date'.
M walked me out to catch a cab. A hug and kiss goodnight, a promise to stay with him the next night and I was on my way...feeling as if I had left my heart behind as we sped off.
Tuesday 20 July 2010
Rest of visit: June 28 to July 18, 2010
The rest of his time here was amazing especially our time together on holiday. We went to Thailand twice, both times to Pattaya which despite what you may have read or heard, is a surprisingly fun place, IF you have an open mind.
M barely spent much time in Singapore. He did make a couple of visits to some companies and made some very useful contacts for his job. One night before our trip to Thailand, he made a wonderful tapas meal and we invited Auntie Eve and Uncle Ed to join us. M was in his element and I was his kitchen assistant, suddenly sprouting thumbs in my nervousness. On his last night, at a party Mom and Dad had for their grandson's birthday, M cooked again, a wonderful pasta that disappeared into tummies very quickly. He met our friends and relatives, and fitted right in.
It took us 8 months of getting to know each other by phone and emails but by the end of his visit, we knew that here was something very special. My heart was wide open to all the wonderful possibilities of this new love. He's generous of himself and attention, with a passionate nature that comes through in his words and actions. I found my fit.
M barely spent much time in Singapore. He did make a couple of visits to some companies and made some very useful contacts for his job. One night before our trip to Thailand, he made a wonderful tapas meal and we invited Auntie Eve and Uncle Ed to join us. M was in his element and I was his kitchen assistant, suddenly sprouting thumbs in my nervousness. On his last night, at a party Mom and Dad had for their grandson's birthday, M cooked again, a wonderful pasta that disappeared into tummies very quickly. He met our friends and relatives, and fitted right in.
It took us 8 months of getting to know each other by phone and emails but by the end of his visit, we knew that here was something very special. My heart was wide open to all the wonderful possibilities of this new love. He's generous of himself and attention, with a passionate nature that comes through in his words and actions. I found my fit.
Sunday 14 March 2010
Here's to change!
It started with my birthday last year. I made a promised to myself that I'll do things differently now. I've been on the sidelines for too long, waiting for...I don't know what. I've taken baby steps, almost laughable when I shared them with some good friends but for me they were giant strides. I'm embracing the girl I used to be in my twenties - slightly crazy risk taker, passionate lover of life - who has been in hibernation. And the consequences of which are still reverberating since September 2009.
I've had the best year I've ever had on the work front. After nearly a year as contract staff at one fantastic international design agency, I am now moving on to a new job in the same industry at the end of month that seems to have been tailored just for me.
There have been other moments, like me becoming a god-mother for the third time (to date, it's Daniel, Anthony and now, Tristan) but the biggest one that will make 2009 forever memorable? I met someone. Six months of long-distance phone calls (thanks Skype and Hoiio!), emails and IMs have kept us close but he'll be here soon. M knows about this blog although I haven't said that I want to blog about this bit of news yet. So far, it's been simply amazing and I can't wait till he gets here.
Update: He said it was okay. I'll respect his privacy and mine by not mentioning names just yet.
My other site at designindigo.com will be no more come July. I'm going to resuscitate this blog with a new name, new address, new look, especially now that Blogger will no longer be supporting FTP sites. The name though, is still in flux and may change in coming weeks.
So here's to change in all its wondrous forms. Pardon me while I hug myself with glee.
I've had the best year I've ever had on the work front. After nearly a year as contract staff at one fantastic international design agency, I am now moving on to a new job in the same industry at the end of month that seems to have been tailored just for me.
There have been other moments, like me becoming a god-mother for the third time (to date, it's Daniel, Anthony and now, Tristan) but the biggest one that will make 2009 forever memorable? I met someone. Six months of long-distance phone calls (thanks Skype and Hoiio!), emails and IMs have kept us close but he'll be here soon. M knows about this blog although I haven't said that I want to blog about this bit of news yet. So far, it's been simply amazing and I can't wait till he gets here.
Update: He said it was okay. I'll respect his privacy and mine by not mentioning names just yet.
My other site at designindigo.com will be no more come July. I'm going to resuscitate this blog with a new name, new address, new look, especially now that Blogger will no longer be supporting FTP sites. The name though, is still in flux and may change in coming weeks.
So here's to change in all its wondrous forms. Pardon me while I hug myself with glee.
Sunday 21 February 2010
A change is coming...
Oh wow! What a year it has been! So many things, so many moments, so many people have passed through my life.
One of the bigger changes is I'll be moving this blog to a new custom domain (with Blogger) and off my current FTP host. Haven't quite decided on the new name but I know I want it to reflect these changes and what's to come. One of the biggest involves a special someone. More on this later.
This blog will be up till end July and I'll post the new url long before that.
So...what's everyone been up to?
One of the bigger changes is I'll be moving this blog to a new custom domain (with Blogger) and off my current FTP host. Haven't quite decided on the new name but I know I want it to reflect these changes and what's to come. One of the biggest involves a special someone. More on this later.
This blog will be up till end July and I'll post the new url long before that.
So...what's everyone been up to?
Sunday 17 May 2009
The 5 Minute Chocolate Cake
My sister sent me this recipe for a no-fail chocolate cake that can be done in a microwave. Perfect quick fix for when you're craving cake at whatever time of day. I made this twice. Once where I followed the original recipe (with the oil) and the second time where I substituted the oil with melted butter and a pinch of salt. Oh, the original recipe had everything dumped into the coffee cup to mix. I decided to split the ingredients and mix them separately - less messy, and I could also ensure everything gets incorporated properly.
And yes, there is a difference in taste! The second with the butter, tastes richer. However make sure you use good cocoa. I'm fond of Van Houten whose cocoa is richer and more 'chocolatey' then Hershey.
Finally, this cake is best eaten warm, with ice cream or cream. When it sits for awhile, it gets a little harder, liked most things cooked in microwave.
And yes, there is a difference in taste! The second with the butter, tastes richer. However make sure you use good cocoa. I'm fond of Van Houten whose cocoa is richer and more 'chocolatey' then Hershey.
Finally, this cake is best eaten warm, with ice cream or cream. When it sits for awhile, it gets a little harder, liked most things cooked in microwave.
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